February 2012
10 posts
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Cover Songs
Short version: I love ‘em.
Long version: I understand lots of folks disagree, either because of an earnest preference for an artist’s original, “definitive” take or because it’s simply the zeitgeist to thumb their nose at covers by default (and sometimes you’ve got a bit of a venn diagram overlap going on).
And, yes, sometimes it’s just an...
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New Product Idea: Ode de Motel
There’s nothing like a romantic getaway. The excitement of travel, combined with the presence of the one you love, is a powerful aphrodisiac. However, we can’t always be on vacation; eventually, we have to return to our normal, everyday lives.
But what if there was a way to feel like you’re constantly on one of these excursions? Gentlemen, I give you “Ode de...
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Optometry Woes
Going to the eye doctor is stressful because I feel like I’m going to get the answer wrong to a question without a right answer. “Is this lens better, worse or about the same?” my doctor will ask and I’ll struggle to remember the subtle differences between lens 1 and 3, followed by the nuances that made lens 2 stand out from lens 4. And, since there is truly no wrong...
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"Baby, you're aHEAD of the crowd"
I’ve written many times before about my love of Breaking Bad, so when I came across these Breaking Bad Valentines, I sort of lost my mind a little bit. I sent the link to my sister, Erin, also a huge fan of the show, and over GChat one afternoon we went back and forth coming up with additional taglines for February 14th cards.
Because I don’t have any visual art talent, I...
What do you want to be when you grow up?
As children, we’re all faced with this question, and as adolescents and young adults we struggle not only to find the answer but then to stay honest to it. Throughout my 27 years I’ve had a lot of different responses; “filmmaker,” “musician,” “writer,” “audio engineer,” “disc jockey.” I rotate wearing each of these hats,...
January 2012
11 posts
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Bob Vila's Tips for Kids
As a kid, I never really grasped the concept of what was and wasn’t appropriate for Show & Tell. While other children brought pets or awesome Christmas toys, I had head-scratching items, like a chunk of a rotting tree stump from my backyard. I brought it because it resembled the side of a mountain cliff (?), despite it’s wood-y appearance and mushy texture. Furthermore, I...
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Occupy My Heart
A few weeks ago, Dave and I were chatting online, as we are wont to do, and came up with a Knocked Up-style romantic comedy idea set in the midst of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Excerpt:
———-
Dave: She can whisper in his ear all sexy-like “I want you to occupy… me”
followed by tasteful shots of mushing around in a tent somewhere
me: ”Wow,...
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My Take On Rock's Biggest Debate
The Beatles are the guys you run into on a Thursday evening after an independent movie premiere. You see each other at the restaurant next door to the theater, and catch-up while also discussing everyone’s interpretation of the film’s meaning.
The Rolling Stones are the guys you go out drinking with on a Friday night. You have some awesomely hilarious conversations in-between shooting pool,...
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People You May Know
Being reminded I signed up for LinkedIn only when I receive a “HEY PERSON I KNOW I HAVE A JOB TOO SO JOIN MY ‘NETWORK’ FOR SOME REASON” email notification from them, I don’t ever spend any time on it. This morning, for whatever reason, though, I logged in to see what was going on with the most boring social networking site out there. I discovered two things: 1) my...
Second Time Around
You ever have that experience where an old song you never liked comes on the radio and suddenly it’s your jam because of your never-ending, nostalgia-fueled lust for the past? This actually happens a lot to me, and often with tracks released around the turn of the Willennium, in my late junior high and high school years. I still won’t even like the song itself all that much, but...
December 2011
11 posts
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“Wooooah, what’s THAT sound? Is that the tippy-tapping of SECULAR BOOTS on...”
– Merry Happy from Dean Pelton
Influence
Every December for the past few I’ve been seeing a lot of least influential people of whatever year it is lists. These sorts of countdowns to the bottom crack me up because it’s always filled with people I’ve heard of and who numerous folks actually care about.
I want to see a list filled with non-celebrities. I want, “#7 Earl from the Mobile gas station in Beulah,...
WatchSEASON’S GREETINGS, YA’LL
(Thanks to these fellas for blazing the Yuletide-Toto trail. At about 2:17 it gets all kinds of 80’s Christmas)
Original Draft of "A Christmas Carol"*
In the fourth stave, Scrooge nervously approaches the headstone in the cemetery, fearful that it’s his future he’s being shown and his grave he approaches. And then he brushes away the fallen snow on the stone to discover…it’s not him, and says, “Oh, okay,” and then goes back to being awful.
*Not really.
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WatchEasily the best song I’ve ever written.
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“U better know kesha knows how to sing f**king country and I can bet 1000 f**king...”
– The comment section on my Ke$ha/Dylan parody is getting heated. And hilarious.
November 2011
16 posts
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WatchI’m really excited for Black Friday tomorrow solely because it means there’ll no longer be a Black Friday commercial every four seconds on TV. Besides, this is the only Black Friday piece of media you’ll ever need, anyway.
Happy Thanksgiving, folks.
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Self-Identity
That first time you seriously call yourself an artist—when you aren’t putting air quotes around it or adopting a faux-serious voice—is the scariest, because from then on you can pinpoint the exact moment you opened yourself up to the criticism of, “No, you’re not.” Defining yourself as an artist is terrifying, because it’s one of the few self-identities...
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The Money Making Business
I really think we need to redefine “success” in America.
News broke yesterday that NBC was pulling Community, probably my favorite comedy, from their mid-season schedule. Despite assurances from network brass that the show isn’t canceled…the show is most likely canceled.
From one perspective, I get it. The ratings have never been great for a network program, and...
“Let’s pause for a second while I pose this provocative question: Do you want to...”
– Michael Ausiello
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“The May twilight soaked the street in a warm glow, like the color of a sweet...”
– I’ve taken the NaNoWriMo challenge this year. I asked Jessica, who’s done this before, for any advice, and her biggest tip was that you have to be okay with writing crap and just powering through it; too much revision or time spent brainstorming a phrase and you won’t make your...
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October 2011
24 posts
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